Monologue Jokes – the Motherlode
Here’s a massive pile of jokes written for the opening monologues of “After Dark” – these were all used in the show, and I’ve gotten rid of most of the time-specific jokes (there’s still a few in there…but seriously, who wants t relive two years of jokes leading up to the 2016 presidential election). I may add more as I cull the archives. -Ken- One...
Read MoreHappy 2017! Looking Ahead to a New Year Monologue
Now that After Dark has ended its run, I’ve had people ask me about joke writing for late-show style monologues. So I decided to share a few of the original, unedited scripts I co-authored for the show. There were some last-minute edits, and things always change on stage, but you can see the video of the monologue here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V49Q5bpn9Js Well, another...
Read MorePost Presidential Election Monologue – 2016
Now that After Dark has ended its run, I’ve had people ask me about joke writing for late-show style monologues. So I decided to share a few of the original, unedited scripts I co-authored for the show. There were some last-minute edits, and things always change on stage, but you can see the video of the monologue here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTYfG3fcizw We begin every...
Read MorePrevious Teams that Led to the Creation of the Suicide Squad
The Despondent Detachment The Plaintive Patrol The Melancholy Militia The Bleak Battalion The Really-I’m-Fine Regiment The Paxil Platoon The Ennui Echelon The Doleful Division The There’s-No-God Garrison The Angst Armada The Saturnine Sortie The Morose Marines The Inconsolable Infantry The Bummer Brigade The Cutting-MySelf-to-get-Attention Corps The Woeful Wing The Forlorn Fleet The...
Read MoreSuperman v. Tennessee Williams: A Streetcar named Justice
So here we are, Mister Superman, just you and I, face to face on the crumbling veranda of my ancestral home. It’s very kind of you to respond so promptly to my threats to kill you. It speaks well of your character. Care for a bourbon? This will be my ninth. You have some catching up to do. You must be pondering why I, Tennessee Williams, noted American playwright, would call you out, why...
Read MoreCovert Ops: The Battle to keep Phil from Dating Again
ATTEN-SHUN! I’m your commanding officer, Colonel Pod-Based-Espresso-Machine. We are about to embark on a critical black-ops psychological warfare mission. Make no mistake – this is a fight for our very way of life. And not all of you are going to survive. It’s been six months since Phil and Betsy broke up, and Phil is dangerously close to regaining his self-esteem. He’s dressing...
Read MoreWelcome to Refugee World!
The Second City Network picked up this piece I wrote during the height of Syrian Refugee paranoia – enjoy! http://www.secondcity.com/network/welcome-to-refugee-world/
Read MoreWhere Great Lines Come From
A lot of improvisers get this question: “How do you come up with all those funny lines so fast?” Brace yourself. I’m going to reveal a MAJOR secret of improv… We don’t. To be fair, I suppose there are some that do – a few mental geniuses who could have been calculating the metric density of plutons in a collapsing black hole, but dedicated themselves to spontaneously creating fart...
Read MoreThought Leader, or Lazy Jackoff?
If you’ve read many business articles or resumes in the last few years, you’ve probably seen this term: Thought Leader Sounds impressive, doesn’t it? But what does it mean? For far too many people, it means someone who sits on their ass and thinks – that’s it. They come up with ideas. Maybe they share those thoughts, but they don’t DO them – otherwise they’d be known for...
Read MoreRisk and Failure part 3 – The Failure Revolution
In part 1, I talked about why failure was critical to success. In part 2, I talked about how you can make yourself take more risks and be more failure tolerant. But it’s almost impossible to take risks and fail in an environment that doesn’t support it, especially in the workplace. Most businesses don’t support risk taking and failure. They WANT people to take risks -that’s how...
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